Sep 7

Sep 7 54 Nights of Halloween (A Spooky Season Schedule)

Some of my favorite memories from childhood revolve around Halloween with my dad. He went all out during the years he was home with me on October 31st: if I wanted him to dress up as a clown, he didn’t just slap on a red nose and call it a day. Nope! He’d find a full, striped suit (complete with hoop-ring belly), don a full face of makeup, and pop on a curly, rainbow wig. It didn’t matter if I changed my four-year-old mind at the last minute and decided to dress as Cinderella… he was there, by my side, taking a break from being a 30-year-old Air Force pilot and channeling his Halloween spirit through full clown regalia.

The Halloween bonding didn’t end with childhood trick-or-treating. As I grew older, my new favorite activity became hopping in the passenger seat of my dad’s red pickup and driving a few minutes down the road to Hollywood Video (R.I.P.), an early aughts institution akin to Blockbuster — minus the time-transcendent brand recognition and nostalgia. When we arrived at the store, we’d head straight for the “thriller” section, picking up old-school horror movies on video tape or DVD and each selecting a box or two of candy. (Hot Tamales and Raisinets, most evenings.) Then it would be back to the truck, heading home for hours of glorious spooky season entertainment binging in front of the TV. I’ve got fond memories of Children of the Corn, Pet Sematary, The Shining, Soylent Green, Nosferatu, and Psycho, among many others. Once Halloween itself finally rolled around — during the years when my parents’ 50/50 custody split dictated me at my dad’s for Halloween — my dad, my stepmom, and I would pop our scary movie of the night into the DVD player and keep the remote handy, frequently pausing our fright night viewing material to pass out candy for the trick-or-treaters dressed as Ninja Turtles, Spongebob Squarepants, and Britney Spears.

While I can’t precisely pinpoint the exact cocktail of personality traits that led me to add “trick-or-treat porch” to the top of our must-haves list for our real estate agent and decorate my home with skulls and pumpkins in late August every year, I have a hunch that these fond Halloweentime memories are a big part of who I’ve become as an adult. So imagine the thrill that went through me when life brought me to San Francisco and away from the seasonal comforts of home, only to become fast friends with a BFF who watches a scary movie with her now-fiancé every. single. night. in the month of October.

A light bulb went on in my brain! A monthly charge for every streaming service was triggered in my checking account! My barely existent autumn social life flew out the window! My favorite childhood activity and a brilliant concept proposed in my adulthood collided, and my life was forever changed.

Since then, to the distress of my scary-movie-avoidant spouse, I consume at least one form of Halloween-appropriate entertainment nightly, from Labor Day weekend through midnight on Halloween.

Since embarking on this annual entertainment journey, I’ve had friends and family express interest in my viewing schedule. I’m not hyper-strict about my day-to-day, as I typically tailor my viewing schedule to suit my husband. (He’s not into scary films; I learned this after he sheepishly admitted it seven years and many coerced horror marathons into our relationship.) Now, I’ve got a Google Sheet that covers my to-watch films and shows for the season, which I’ve decided to share here — arranged, naturally, by streaming service and in ascending scariness rating (from least scary to most).